Healing my body from within

A chakra stone set to help me with my meditations.

Ever since I went to that healing circle last weekend I have felt pretty amazing. I’ve been reading so much about chakras and reiki. I know it’s just whatever to some people, but as with anything, you get from it what you put into it. I’ve been changing my meditations to focus on certain chakras based on how I’m feeling, whether it’s physically or emotionally. Ever since I’ve done that my mood has been completely elevated.

Today we went to an RV show. It was pretty awesome actually because when I retire I’d love to just sell my house, buy an RV and travel all over the country. Seeing these in person really made that dream seem a step closer. I felt fantastic these last few days, hardly any aches or pains. Today I woke up with a slight headache, but I was very excited to go to that RV show, so I pushed through. After about 2 hours of walking around I had a raging migraine, vertigo was out of control, anxiety was elevated, my right knee kept me from walking into any RVs because the step down was unbearable, and then my lower back started to hurt. So, I had to call it a day. We went to eat after and my head was pounding. I finally made it home and I came into my sanctuary (former garage turned woman-cave, library, art studio, meditation room) and played a frequency for my third-eye chakra and just laid down on my sofa with my eyes closed. My headache started to finally slip away. Once it became more manageable I decided to continue it with meditation. After about 40 minutes that migraine was gone. Completely gone. Take from all that what you will, but it’s helping me, so I’ll continue to do it.

All of this has definitely helped my sleep. Maybe it’s the stones that I’m wearing to bed, or meditating every evening. But I feel more like myself every day.

I finally had my CT scan on my brain Thursday. I will find the results on Tuesday afternoon. If it’s normal, then we will see if an MRI is next. I don’t want the all clear. I want an explanation as to why I have felt like this for 12 years. I’m trying not to consume myself by focusing only on my pain. Even if I’m reading about chakras, or RV life, I’m keeping my mind occupied on something else, which is what I need right now.

Looking inward for healing

I feel like I need to be prepared for modern medicine to not be able to help me deal with this pain. I’ve been looking into more of a holistic approach. Like I said I’ve been dealing with this pain for about 12 years now. I’m just finally starting to be taken seriously by doctors. I have a CT scan scheduled for this Thursday. In the meantime, as I await some kind of diagnosis I have to find a way to cope with the pain I experience every single day. Some days I feel like all I can do is just sit there and wait for it to pass.

A close friend of mine took me to a women’s meditation circle on the full moon last week. It was amazing. They had a “sound bath”. I’ve never even heard of this. I’ve studied Buddhism and practiced it for almost 20 years now, and I know about the Tibetan singing bowls, but I’ve never heard of how the frequencies can heal the body. I felt amazing while I was sitting there with my eyes closed. Of course I still felt the pain, but the sounds distracted me from being consumed by it. It was like a whirling bell was ringing in circles around my right ear, then floating in front of my face, and then floating and spinning around my left ear. It was pretty incredible.

The following day I decided to go back to church. It’s not like any other church I’ve ever been to. It’s called Unity. They welcome people from all walks of life and all religions and the sermons often include teachings from different religions. It is mostly a Christian church, however, they talk more about the similarities between the religions rather than the differences, and how to apply those principles into every day life. It’s always positive and uplifting. I’m not a regular church goer. I was raised Catholic, and that has put me off of churches almost entirely…until I went to Unity. I usually meditate and pray (usually for strength) alone, but when I need that extra nudge to lift me up, I go there.

Between the women’s meditation circle Saturday night and church on Sunday morning, my soul felt lighter and I felt like I was ready to start looking more at alternative paths to healing. I ordered some books on Chakras, and Reiki. A friend of mine gave me an inversion chair to see if it would help my back and I felt so strange after. I don’t know if it really made my back feel better. I felt like my blood pressure went up, and I also felt dizzy and light headed. So I came into my studio and decided to meditate, but this time, I was listening to a soundtrack of Solfeggio Frequencies that a friend told me about. When I finished I felt completely clear headed and even my vision seemed clearer. I don’t know if it was because of listening to the frequencies or what, but I’m going to keep going with it.

I believe that the mind is powerful. I believe that your thoughts can manifest things in your life. I don’t know where this will lead with me, but I love to read, so I’m putting down the Fiction for a while and start reading about how I can improve my quality of life, on my own, because I sure know that my doctors never seem to be in a hurry for that and I’m tired of just thinking about my pain all day every day. I really do feel that since my mind is so focused on it, it likely is making it worse. Thoughts? Suggestions? Recommendations on books? I’d like to know. 🙂

I wish I would have been tracking this whole time.

This is a really good app for anyone who deals with chronic pain. I woke up this morning and started thinking back to all the stuff I’ve bought over the years thinking I was just sleeping wrong , going to bed with a heating pad on high (so glad I didn’t burn myself up on my mattress), wrist guards, knee braces, ankle braces, I used to live with a TENS unit on, constantly on my back years ago, not to mention different chiropractors, deep tissue massage, and even accupuncturists. Whenever I’d go to my doctor I’d only remember about 10% of what I should be telling her. I’d seriously forget. So I finally started writing down all my symptoms and took it to her and then it finally clicked with her that something was going on with me. Anyhoo, I wanted an app that I could actually see a chart of trends or triggers that can lead to flare ups. This one is really cool. I also looked at my planner this morning to see what was going on before my last big flare up that had my back locked up and pretty much unable to get up for 2 solid days. And it was definitely stress that triggered it. My planner was FULL even on weekends…meetings at school and after school, our trip to Ren Fest was a nightmare that time around, nonstop Girl Scout action for weekends in a row, art teacher conference in Galveston that I drove to and from for 3 straight days….it was non stop. Seeing all that and what it did to my health was eye opening. My mom used to say, “don’t you ever slow down?” And we’ll….my body was finally like “bitch we gonna make you slow down now take this!” Like I said I’ve had these spasms for 12 years now and not realizing that this is NOT normal until now. But it isn’t just stress. I can’t go dancing anymore. I can’t stand up at a concert anymore. I can’t watch a parade while standing up anymore. I can’t do any digging while gardening anymore. Because even when I’m not stressed, all of those things lead to a shooting pain that runs the length of my spine within an hour. That’s not normal. I’m rambling now but this is helping me remember. The severe hip pain I felt from trying to run last summer was part of it I’m sure. I miss dancing. My last 2 trips to Numbers to go dancing left me in excruciating pain. I had to stay on the stool. I was finally able to go see Social Distortion in concert and spent nearly the entire night in the lobby sitting down because I was about to start crying because my body was screaming at me. I got really depressed thinking of the things I can’t do anymore. But I’m working on acceptance and still finding ways to just enjoy being places without overdoing it. Anyhoo if you stuck around and read all of this you deserve a major award. I wish I would have been logging all this over the years but I guess it’s good I’m doing it now.