Looking inward for healing

I feel like I need to be prepared for modern medicine to not be able to help me deal with this pain. I’ve been looking into more of a holistic approach. Like I said I’ve been dealing with this pain for about 12 years now. I’m just finally starting to be taken seriously by doctors. I have a CT scan scheduled for this Thursday. In the meantime, as I await some kind of diagnosis I have to find a way to cope with the pain I experience every single day. Some days I feel like all I can do is just sit there and wait for it to pass.

A close friend of mine took me to a women’s meditation circle on the full moon last week. It was amazing. They had a “sound bath”. I’ve never even heard of this. I’ve studied Buddhism and practiced it for almost 20 years now, and I know about the Tibetan singing bowls, but I’ve never heard of how the frequencies can heal the body. I felt amazing while I was sitting there with my eyes closed. Of course I still felt the pain, but the sounds distracted me from being consumed by it. It was like a whirling bell was ringing in circles around my right ear, then floating in front of my face, and then floating and spinning around my left ear. It was pretty incredible.

The following day I decided to go back to church. It’s not like any other church I’ve ever been to. It’s called Unity. They welcome people from all walks of life and all religions and the sermons often include teachings from different religions. It is mostly a Christian church, however, they talk more about the similarities between the religions rather than the differences, and how to apply those principles into every day life. It’s always positive and uplifting. I’m not a regular church goer. I was raised Catholic, and that has put me off of churches almost entirely…until I went to Unity. I usually meditate and pray (usually for strength) alone, but when I need that extra nudge to lift me up, I go there.

Between the women’s meditation circle Saturday night and church on Sunday morning, my soul felt lighter and I felt like I was ready to start looking more at alternative paths to healing. I ordered some books on Chakras, and Reiki. A friend of mine gave me an inversion chair to see if it would help my back and I felt so strange after. I don’t know if it really made my back feel better. I felt like my blood pressure went up, and I also felt dizzy and light headed. So I came into my studio and decided to meditate, but this time, I was listening to a soundtrack of Solfeggio Frequencies that a friend told me about. When I finished I felt completely clear headed and even my vision seemed clearer. I don’t know if it was because of listening to the frequencies or what, but I’m going to keep going with it.

I believe that the mind is powerful. I believe that your thoughts can manifest things in your life. I don’t know where this will lead with me, but I love to read, so I’m putting down the Fiction for a while and start reading about how I can improve my quality of life, on my own, because I sure know that my doctors never seem to be in a hurry for that and I’m tired of just thinking about my pain all day every day. I really do feel that since my mind is so focused on it, it likely is making it worse. Thoughts? Suggestions? Recommendations on books? I’d like to know. 🙂

2 thoughts on “Looking inward for healing

  1. I have read several of your current posts but just replying to one for all.
    Reading your words are like hearing an echo of my own words. I have been trying to get help going on 24 years now. I have done any & everything any doctor has asked of me. Yes, stress or any disagreement amplifies the pain ten fold. Even on a good day no matter what I’m attempting to do which isn’t much I can not fully focus on anything as the pain is always in my mind / brain. I have had so many tests I hate to count. What’s amazing is everything always come back normal. How can I not be able to make a fist but an x-ray says I’m fine.
    I am not fine I’m definitely not normal(whatever the hell that is). There is so much more to say, but I will stop here.
    Thanks for your time.


    1. I’m so sorry you are in so much pain also. For a long time I felt like it was just all in my head. You are definitely not alone in this.


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